These tips will help maintain a healthy sense of self-identity.
February 2nd, 2017 by: Aimee S. Miller
Motherhood is still a new thing for me. While it has been an incredible journey, I definitely see how easy it could be for a mother to lose her own identity. However, I realize that it’s important physically and mentally for me, for moms in general, to maintain self-identity. We were “someone” before we were mothers, and we will still be “someone” when our kids grow into adults. One act that helps me feel grounded is to set resolutions. And although we’re already in the new year, resolutions are never too late to set.
Where to Begin
Sometimes we all need a little nudge to do something in life. So here is a friendly nudge to just get started already!
Find a Hobby
What do you enjoy doing? What makes you happy? Finding or continuing a hobby — one that is independent from your partner — is an important aspect in helping you grow personally as well as growing your relationship. For me, two of my hobbies are writing and reading. I dedicate a few hours each month to focus on both. Not only does this give me a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment once I am finished with an article or a book, but it also usually gives me an interesting topic to talk about with my husband.
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Take a dance class or an art class; cook a new dish. Attend an event that the organization you’ve been reading about is putting on. Pack a weekend bag and take a trip alone. Go to that free yoga class in the park. Whatever it is that gets you out of your comfort zone, do it. You may end up learning something new about yourself. And if you don’t like it, at least you tried it.
Spend Quality Time with Your Partner
In today’s world, it is so very easy to get wrapped up in technology. Make a point to disconnect and focus on each other. My husband and I have the same commute to and from work, so it’s nice to have that extra bit of time together sans baby to actually have focused, adult conversations. Each Friday morning, we pick a different coffee shop to stop at before making our way to the office. Do whatever works for you and your partner.
This is something I always say I’m going to do more of and sometimes I do, but then other times … I get lazy. But, I resolve to use my gym membership more frequently. Once I get past the lazy part and do hit the gym, I always leave with a clearer head and feeling happy.
Set a Routine and Sleep Schedule
Whenever my son finally went to sleep for the night, I had made a bad habit of sometimes trying to cram as many chores as I could into the several hours of baby-free time that I had. And then other times, okay real talk — most of the time — I fell asleep on the couch watching TV. Neither of these are very healthy. So here’s an opportunity for another mom goal: Set a standard bed time (for a decent hour of the night).
Just Say No
It seems like we oftentimes over-commit ourselves. We have three birthday parties in one weekend, plus dinner with some friends. And then we also wanted to grab drinks tomorrow with another small group of friends. And then this person hasn’t seen the baby in two weeks, so let’s work that into the schedule. Oh and when exactly are we supposed to, you know, eat, sleep, do laundry and clean? It’s totally okay to politely decline an invitation … and even better if you don’t feel bad about it. This one is probably most important to me personally: The more I over-commit, the less time I am focusing on my other goals and resolutions.
Whatever your goals and resolutions may be, cheers to you for setting and going after them.